In the song WILLING TO FALL, I compared the parallels of rock climbing to willingness in opening one’s heart in ‘dating’.
Both have risk factors of getting hurt; both require courage; both carry the risk of falling from ‘heights’; both do well with safety precautions; both require trust; both require the act of taking little steps forward to grow/improve - in order to grow both
require the willingness to fall; both do not do well with over-gripping; both require confidence, yet a humble heart; both open doors to self improvement with practice, self awareness, knowledge and learning (in a relationship, that would be learning more about the other person - asking what his/her feelings are about this, that; asking about likes, dislikes, etc); both require patience and a sense of responsibility; both do well with a lightness of heart and humor; both require to place oneself in a state of vulnerability; both flourish with a playful demeanor- having fun, being curious/wonderment/adventurous.
Interestingly enough, fighting against, anger and bleme do not work well for either one of these. Cussing out a rock wall, or blaming it for not performing to your expectations, is ridiculous. It’s a rock - it’s just there being a solid nature. It doesn’t listen or have a personality to fight back. It hurts if you use force to try to ‘be the winner’. LOL. Thus the same goes in a relationship: No one ‘wins’ when there is angry fighting and blaming. It doesn’t feel good. In fact it feels like it would if you slammed into a rock face (wall).
The rock face brings you face to face with your own thoughts, feelings, strengths and weaknesses, some of which these unpolished qualities are humbling to realize!
Such is the case with being in a relationship, that often reflects personality traits in yourself that you aren’t fond of, which bubbles up as feeling irritated toward the other person, which then of course you deflect and blame him/her for these (mirrored) unlikable qualities. It’s amusing stuff!
Both fourish as you come to a point of Acceptance of especially yourself as well as others. The quality of acceptance meaning being at peace - arriving at a place of non-judgment, right there in that moment, one foot step, one hand-hold at a time. This ‘Space’ naturally brings one to be encouraging and Loving to your Self as well as others, which brings you effortlessly into a state of selflessness, which coincidentally brings you to become more light hearted, which leads to more Fun and Joy/Happiness. Cool!
When I started rock climbing a little while ago, I was faced with my fear of heights. This is pretty normal for most folks, as heights and very loud noises kicks in our sense of self preservation. It turns on our ‘danger red-light button’. Anyway, my friends kindly and patiently helped me understand how the climbing equipment works, which included safety precautions. I wasn’t really having a lot of fun at first, because I was so focused on my fear of heights and falling.
Staying on point with the comparison of climbing and relationships, the lyrics in WILLING TO FALL portray, I will continue with my beginning days of climbing as thus: I had a Desire and Curiosity to find out why my friends felt so much enjoyment in this sport. I knew that I liked that we were outdoors, amidst trees, birds, fresh air and sunshine. Though this natural fear was prominent on several of my first climbing experiences, I began to question what ‘fear’ was in the big picture. ‘Fear’ in this case, could be translated to an experience that was ‘unfamiliar’ to my mind, emotions and physical body. I asked myself if I was ‘Willing’ to climb and experience what was ‘unfamiliar’, so that I could open up my mind to understand the skills even better. When one’s mind is focused only on Fear, there’s not space enough to focus on Understanding, which then allows a person to relax more, just for one. Anxiety really fries your nerves, and zaps your energy, and Fun factor!
So the same qualites exist when getting involved in a new relationship. Most of us have experienced the pain felt in heart-breaks, when we have invested so much of ourselves; our trust, hope, love, dreams, etc. only to have it feel like there’s a gaping hole in our heart. This feeling creates Fear and Anxiety to put ourselves at a risk to ‘Fall’ - get crushed again. Yet, if we don’t take the risk, we certainly will not have the opportunity to share the richness of being in love. That gem requires the
Willingness to fall.
Thankfully in rock climbing and mountaineering, there’s safety features, such as harnesses, ropes, gear, to allow the belayer to catch our falls. Yes, there are some safety precautions in the get-go of ‘dating’/hanging out’, such as taking it slow, good communication, etc. that are helpful. Falling either way can still be scary, yet the
thrill of living Big, living life Full, start with a Willingness to Open our Hearts!